The much-feared “Panzer” or, more formally, Germany’s “armored fighting vehicle” was the iron fist of the blitzkrieg. It was the frightening technological shock that rendered the Nazis unstoppable in the early stages of the war.
What the world needs now is a new Panzer offensive, driving into the heart of every backward and undeveloped nation on Earth. A Panzer attack in every inner city ghetto, every shantytown, every disgusting stink hole of poverty there is.
Shock and Awe
We need a fleet of bright yellow Panzers on rubber wheels, not tank treads, driven by mothers, not commandos; although they have to be accompanied by air cover, armored personnel carriers and a battalion of bureaucrats with enough red tape to circle the earth a thousand times.
We need a fleet of yellow school buses, there to take kids from their worthless mothers and to sit the kids down in school to learn.
No more pandering politically correct education where homework is banned because it discriminates against kids with no providers at home; no more kids who graduate from high school with a diploma they can’t even read, much less appreciate.
Tough Love
No football or basketball teams for any school that doesn’t graduate 100% of their students, but only after they all have passed a college entrance exam with satisfactory scores. (No “historically black” colleges either, where the average education level of freshmen is the 8th grade.)
No cable TV or internet access paid for by welfare, no cell phones. Just a library card and books to read.
You make all Bs or better; you get pizza and fruit punch for lunch. You make all As; you get to try out for the football team or cheerleading squad. Forget about texting, sexting, gangs, fashionable clothes and jewelry and makeup.
Don’t even think about asking the school nurse for condoms or the morning after pill. Don’t even tell yourself you’re gay – you don’t even know what that means.
No more gay-friendly sex education classes. Give kids the truth. Tell them that there are 750,000 gay couples in America. Tell them there are 1.5 million HIV-positive gays in America. Give them ten minutes to do the math.
Tell them what hemorrhoids are, that the human buttocks is designed for one bowel movement a day; that anal sex causes a year’s worth of damage per session; that an active gay teenager has the anus of a fifty-year-old. Tell them once those hemorrhoids are full blown – like, say by the time they’re 23 – that’s it for their gay sex life.
Send them home to their single mothers with statistics on children who grow up without a father in the home have more problems with sexuality, crime, alcohol abuse, drugs, relationships – life!
That’s what the Nazis would do.