Every week there’s an outbreak of Mad Cow Disease or Bird Flu that sends stocks reeling. The scientists scratch their heads wondering what could be wrong. Any idiot knows the problem: animals have minds too and if they don’t use them, they go crazy. Apparently scientists will all be going nuts any time soon too, having shown little evidence of using their bird brains but always deferring to their bovine balls; I call it the “military industrial complex” that has endowed them with so much respect for their own inestimable expertise that they can’t possibly imagine they are wrong about anything. We all know what happened to Jesus, who claimed to have done nothing wrong at all . . .